A prayer of many

Lord I am yours. There is no illusion capable of changing reality and there's no reality within the illusion. You are Real. I too am Real but dressed with clouds of fog. Close, yet so far. Within, yet so separate. Remind me oh Lord for you are not part of the dream. Remind me of You. Remind me of Reality. I am willing to wake up, willing to turn my beloved and my possession to dust as You wake me from my dream into Reality. You are all that's True. Forever. Impossible to count and measure. It.  All. Infinite. Love. My maker. I am worthy of Your love and love my worthiness. Thank you, my Lord, for loving me so much to send me a dream. Such trust. Such love. Oh Lord!

I have always hated You. It was never the wicked whom I hated, the one inflicting pain, shredding minds and bodies to pieces, the one I really hated was You. It was not the oppressor, giver of separation, the illness, the darkness or hate, it was always You to whom I turned to send bullets, arrows and knives of hate. I wanted You to stop.  I wanted You to leave me alone. For I always knew it was You. You hid within me at birth.  And I knew. And I hated you for everything I lived.  Every cut, bruise, loss, assault, for every illness and loneliness, incomprehension and difference...  I hated You. For You are all there is. Lord, You are all there is and I always knew You wanted me to taste every bit of darkness, bring it to the light.  Confront demons, blood of my own blood, sons and daughters of my womb.  I hated You while praying You. I hated You while I praising Your name. I hated You to the extreme of my perception while being the furthest fromYou. And the...

Lord, I am naked. You took all my clothes off and burned them. Grant me the heart of David. Lord, I am hungry. You took all my food away as it was rotten. Grant me the heart of David Lord. For I did not move. I kneel and thank You and pray You and sing Your Name from the top of my lungs. Grant me the heart of David oh Lord  Clothe me with your Mercy and feed me with your Wisdom and I shall live forever in Your Palace. I kneel and lower my head so my eyes won't see the wicked whispers of forbidden desires. Grant me the heart of David so my eyes and heart and mind will only see You, my Lord, my Savior, my King.

Lord, I hurt. I hurt in my bones and blood, I hurt in my head and muscled and I sing Your name. I praise Your essence. Lord, my soul is singing. Loud and clear is my Lord's love and support as I walk home amongst thorns and fires. You hold me. You show me how strong I am when I rely on You against the thin will I was born with. I walk with You despite the assault. You walk with me to help me see, feel, and discover You. Truth, wisdom, the first soul. Together. It does not matter how much my body fights, rebels in pain, my soul is fully at rest in You, Lord of my Life.

 God, you created in me the biggest desire, the most intense craving, an empty lake yearning for its water.  And I searched. And searched. And found only darkness. I travelled the planes and the rivers, learned to speak languages and cultures, filled myself with notions and expertise in things of this world, and all the same my bucket was empty. Empty and hungry! Yet I knew. I know You. I knew You were here, now and always, I felt your touch, was soothed by your arms, held by your strength. And let to search some more.  In darkness. In a place where reason and faith cannot merge. In a place where faith alone shines through the clouds.  Still, I could not reach You, for it was You who had to come to me. It was You who had to light that little flame to help me find the way. Your way. The Real way.  Alone, I would simply stumble, fall, bleed. Alone, I was lost among millions. I could not reach you because I was not letting You love me, I could not reach You because...

I want to lie on a green field covered in wildflowers as I feel like one of them. I want to lie down, close my eyes and stretch out my arms and touch another hand, on both sides, hands I will hold tight and hands that will hold tight onto mine. And I want to know that those hands I hold are holding other hands themselves. For so it is that we go home, fulfill creation: holding each other through mountains and lakes, under the sun and under the pouring rain. For in each hand we truly hold the Creator Himself and none others, for there's none else besides Him.  But when I lie on a green field covered in wildflowers I only see emptiness for as far as my eyes can see. You fill all there is but no one knows. Others only see empty fields and can't feel You in all that is and don't believe in being held and in holding because too busy with turning the soil to pour cement as high as they can to show their importance.  I was there. I am there, still. Sometimes. Poking my head out of...

 I am serving You. Lord of clear rivers, rough mountains and calm seas, Light of the day and light of the night, I am serving You and no one else. I am serving You God, the one and only as it was your thought which made all other thoughts of gods and idols, of light and shadows, of good and bad. I serve You. Help me to achieve this intent. I serve You.  For this world's time has accelerated and evil inclinations have doubled with every faster minute, with every breath I take there is a part of venom, so please, God, help me retain that venom in my lungs, help me not exhale it back into the world, for all I want is to breathe You and You only, breath You in and breathe You out.  I don't care about beauty unless it pleases Your eyes. I don't care about wealth unless it gives You richness. I don't care about love unless it is Your real love.  Make this all real for me and my friends but only if in Your name. For I get lost in green fields as I see Your hand in it. And I...

Lord of all there is, thought of creation, light. In Your name my heart opens, in Your name my mind shuts. Thank You for guiding me to Your name. I walk and wonder, sometimes, on how to pray, on how to dissipate in Your light, on how to rip off my clothes of flesh to let the Light in.  But it's a moment because You immediately show me the face of a friend and in their face, there i see You. In the eyes of their desire I see myself and I am reminded that that is where You are, always: between us. Where we see void space there you are. Where we see joy, there You are. Where we see suffering and loneliness, there too You are. For You are all there is and You can leave me only when and if I leave You.  Creator of all worlds hold my friends in Your hand, and their friends in Your hand, and their friends too until all of Israel is united once more within Your eyernal Love

I am an egoist. That's all there is, my will to receive.  But there's a trick you gave me, a way home for all of creation, a path... Take with one hand so I can give with the other. To not keep, don't hold it, just pass it on like a torch passing from hand to hand, heart to heart and up the ladder. We use the light shining from those above us and, passing it down, make light for those below. A ladder heading Home, uniting us as One. So i pray the Light to shine strong and never burn. So i pray for us to see the right path and for us to shine the right path, for those that lead, for those that follow. And i pray You to help our feet step tight on the rung so we don't slip and fall on those who trust us, so we don't fall off of our degree. We're going Home and we can rise because we're light as feathers because we don't hold onto anything.  Let's sing in Your name, loud, let's share the Joy so others will see us and crave the same feeling. The song...

God, raise me higher, bring me up to your degree so as to not miss a single word You say, a single action for my friends, a single ray of Your light. God raise me higher, raise me up to Your degree so I can give all You are to each and every friend, to all who ask and suffer in the desire of You. God raise me high, raise me above sll evil, above our need for correction so I can see the world for what it really is, I know my part is essential but I can give Your torch to others only when it's lit with Your light and nothing else. God raise me up to the next level, raise me so I can pull up my friends and bring them all to You as You just brought me into Your arms.  God raise me into Your endless love where stillness beats the night forever and where the shadows the moon are never seen.

You took my skin off and threw it to the hyenas letting my flesh exosed to sun and rot off my bones.  Thank You Lord for Your mercy and love, for You know. You filled my mouth and nostrils with melted wax and let me drown in mighty rivers, breaking my bones against every rock down the stream. Thank You my Lord for Your mercy and love. No one else helped me fight against my evil inclination, no one else helped me unveil my true ego and lust for perishable intentions.  You chose me and filled my vessel with Light, You broke me open to fill me again, and then again and again. All I had to do was to accept and praise Your greatness, mercy and love. Your path is easy when the road is clear of enemies. Hard when the mountain is steep an filled with hungy strangers, poor foreigners trying to steal my gold.  Yet Your light is too bright. I will once more break open in Your strong hand. And see once again that there was never a mountain on my path. Or a mighty stream. Only delight...

You are my Lord oh God, You are my food and water, light and darkness and nothing can equal Your perfection. The power of Your name is so strong that when i hear it spoken i hide in fear and shame, i cringe within the words of Your eternal love.  Me, a little shadow filled with the desire of the Sun itself, yet incapable of rising at dawn, when all the world is calling. How many more shadows shall i burn in Your name for my legs to be strong enough to walk on Your path without questions? One hundred? One thousand? One million?  Whatever the number that is the number of times i will raise your flame in their face, burn them to shreds and throw them in the river at the bottom of the mountain. Watch the water disperse them, delete even the memory of them in this world. Yours are the flames of Truth, only when holding Your torch can i see the face of the night and bring forth the day. You are One and i am nothing on your lips, just a thought to express a world that never existed. ...

I lack nothing and nothing is lacking in Creation, yet I forget and behave as if lack was everywhere around me. And in me.  But in reality, in Truth, You fill all there is and beyond, and You do so with a single thought. Unchanged. We lack nothing but a point in the heart to awaken us to the Truth. And faith.  And You are there. Immediately. You oversee us the whole time, never tired, bored or disgusted. You are still and eternal in Your love for us. I lack everything. I am Your opposite, the darkness and the emptiness, deemed to drown in unfulfillable desires, despair deeply into the abyss yet, unknowingly safe under Your wing. The whole time safe, made to be fulfilled and loved by You. Made to receive your love as i grow Your light lile a farmer grows wheat. For none of this evil is real besides the Thought of Creation and Your eternal, unchanging love. When I run You are right behind me, when I fall You make sure I slowed down, when I get lost You poke me to lead me back Ho...

Oh Lord, save me from the darkness, make my feet run faster than my evil enemies and reach Your gates of Mercy before they get to me. May your sword be the one to cut me open because from Your hand and blade of steel only light will emerge from me.   My enemies are filthy and empty and carry death and darkness on their back, a tiny knife in their hands can put me to eternal death. Your Kingdom is Life and where I find rest, and in your arms I mature like fruits from a seed, because Your love waters me and feeds me and Your care grows my Soul   bigger. God, you are my only safe place, and when my eyes are shut by fear I run and stumble towards your gates begging for Mercy. God you are my only safe place and when the night rises I need the protection of your strong walls and towers. Allow me, your servant and disciple, to enter Your Kingdom, I bring you all of myself as I run and leave the wicked behind.   Mold me, oh Lord, into your likeness. Fill me with Your Truth so I c...